Wk 06*** Does This Wallet Make My Butt Look Fat?

Does This Wallet Make My Butt Look Fat?

“The Fall of Man”

In earlier years, when I was still married and the kids were quite young, I carried a standard type wallet, or billfold, like the one pictured above. No, wait -- that is the wallet I carried. It is still stuffed with a dozen or so pay-stubs, a file of plastic sleeves for photographs of the children, a collection of business cards, and a few charge cards that I stopped using because they were maxed out. I stopped carrying that wallet when it got too fat to fit in my pocket. I guess I never got rid of it because it had become a file cabinet for all that important stuff.

Later in life, long after the wife ran off and shortly before the children began to move away, I became independently wealthy, a self-made man, and I began working on becoming self-actualized. No, not really -- I really had a midlife crisis like everyone else my age and I bought a Harley-Davidson motorcycle. The black leather wallet with the security chain was part of my riding apparel. However, I truly was working on becoming self-actualized, and I turned my weekend hobbies, like riding, into my daily livelihood.

I became a Street Preacher and founded an Interdenominational Independent Christian Church. I ministered to people who were neglected by the mainline churches: the homeless, the impoverished, the nursing home shut-ins, and the rebellious bikers. I took my church ministry to people who for whatever reason could not, or would not, be caught dead inside a fancy church building. And I prophesied hell and brimstone against any church whose mission was to build a larger church rather than to feed the Hungry.

My ministry was legally incorporated, so I needed to carry a larger file cabinet – that is, a larger wallet. Zipped inside my Harley-Davidson embossed leather wallet was everything a business executive might need while on the road – or in the street as was the case: a business checkbook and ledger; a personal checkbook and ledger; a day planner and pen; a dozen charge cards – business and personal; ID cards – business and personal; a storage locker pass card; several grocery discount cards; a stack of my business cards; a stack of other people’s business cards; a stack of receipts; and a photo file of my kids. Oh! -- And some cash; however, I usually carried the cash in my pocket, because it was too much trouble to unzip my wallet to buy a coffee.

The physical mechanics of my ministry were somewhat cumbersome, like my wallet. For example, delivering groceries or transporting someone to the hospital or to social services was physically impossible on a motorcycle. Truth be told -- my Harley was a Harley. It leaked oil like a sieve and it spent more time in the shop than on the street. Truth be told – my Harley was no different from an expensive fancy church. It cost too much to maintain, and the people it served could not ride in it -- or eat in it. Never the less, the message of my ministry was sound and the Good Lord blessed my work and rewarded my efforts. He called me to a greater ministry.

Called to reach a larger audience, both rich and poor, I have been blessed with the means to return to school full time. Undergraduate studies have revealed some methods employed by other Faith systems to deal with poverty. I am especially intrigued by Buddhism. The spiritually wealthiest Buddhists dedicate themselves to having compassion for the spiritually, and financially, poorest members of society. Jesus might have been a Buddhist if He wasn’t a Christian. Anyway, I have learned to find greater spiritual happiness with lesser physical wealth. I have downsized my wallet. I have emptied myself of all excess to find the Truth of my Self. I have become the Buddha. No, not really – my Harley wallet was too heavy to carry along with all my college text books.

I really have begun to strip myself of all excess. Now all I carry is a small stack of personal essentials: driver’s license; SSA card; Towson ID card; Master Card; Bank card; Library card; Weis Markets discount card; a couple of Starbucks discount coupons; and less than $20.00 cash. All this is bound together with two elastic hair bands. I don’t carry a comb, but I carry the extra hair bands in case my pony tail breaks loose. Also, I carry two key rings; one with a valet car key; the other with a spare car key and my house key. And I always carry a handkerchief. I hate to sneeze into my bare hand.

That’s it; nothing else. I am practically naked – or at least I felt that way when I first got rid of my excess, my security blankets. I long for the day that I can live like Adam and Eve, naked and free, no burden to carry, no sin to bear. No! Wait a minute – I can’t live without my designer fig leaf jeans. Or my Oregon Scientific wristwatch that doubles as a heart monitor; that’s something else I always carry. I even sleep with my wristwatch. It is sinful how insecure I am, how afraid I am to be without my stuff. I think that’s the original Original Sin, isn’t it!? – Wanting more than your naked butt needs to have – -- or carrying a wallet that makes your butt look fat!?